I'm Tyler. I play the drums. I enjoy quotes from movies, television, music and literature. I also like writing, walking around, word association, blowjobs, garlic, butter, sports, soda, beer, boobs, cupcakes and couches. OH! And steak.
Maybe next time.
Disappointed with myself.
Sometimes chivalry should take a backseat to want.
I know I’m wrong but that may be what’s right about me.
I’m a big fucking Nicholas Sparks pussy.
I decided to stay out tonight thinking “who knows, we may cross paths”. Foolish. Oh well.
You’ll still be gorgeous with tomorrow’s dawn and I’ll still be interested in getting to know you.
ugh. you’ve got me wound up like a clock shop on daylight savings time.
I’m divided over my inclination to see you.
If I could lie to myself as well as you do I guess I’d be whittling my bedposts too.
I’ve been trying really hard to do better with this. I feel like I’ve succeeded in some respects. There are things I struggle with every day. There are things I put off and can’t face. There are things that don’t seem so problematic anymore.
The fact is I still want what you don’t. I fight the urge to call you or text you or send you a message every day. I save it all for the songs. I still miss your touch and kiss. I miss your scent and your shape. I need you in my bed at night. My love for you is still there. None of those things has left me. I try not to think of the other things that hurt. I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not I can be your friend. I’m still unsure.
I’ve been finding a lot of value in myself I didn’t know was there.
I wish a lot of things.
What is going on? Are we getting closer or further away. I know that you love me and want me and need me too. So why are you doing this? Are you disappointed you found the perfect shape too early? Do you need and crave the attention of others so badly that you’d give up on something great?
I hope we get better. I do. I still deny and refuse what is happening. I don’t want to be just a friend. You and I both know that when that happens there will still be something between us. And it will make things just as difficult.
I don’t like fighting with you either. But I’m fighting for love. I’m fighting for you. I’m fighting because I believe and I didn’t give up.
I’ve lost 20lbs. 2 notches on my belt. 2 inches off my waist.
These cold nights make my bones ache for your warmth. Every day I get off work and have to hold myself from jumping on the N that would take me to your door. I can still feel your lips on mine. I miss the way your face twitches in sleep. It takes every ounce of me not to call you and tell you I need you.
I worry about you so much. And I miss your company dearly.
I still love you.
I would like to be that guy that can take it in stride. To play it cool, act like I don’t need you. Truth is that is not the case. I wait every night for you to call and say “Baby, I need you here tonight.” And it doesn’t come. I pray before sleep that I’ll wake up next to you. But I don’t. I’m still very much in love with you. I know that you love me too, somewhere it’s there.
I stopped by your house the morning after the show. You were asleep, I didn’t want to wake you. Your roommate wanted to know if she should tell you I came. I said no. I wanted to talk to you. To see you. Thank you for coming. That really meant a lot. I’m glad we had a good time save for the talk about us and where we are at. Bummed you didn’t get to see my new band. It ruled. I want to see you again, really bummed I won’t be invited to your bday celebraish.
You know I’ve changed. You even said you’d rather be with this me. So why aren’t you? Why is it so damn important to you to move on? To be single, whatever that means.
I know you worry about me, you shouldn’t. Well, maybe a little.
And fuck you and your ex boyfriend. That would have been the end of me.
And fuck your single life.
I am very happy with my life, I’m smart and talented and funny, I have great friends and goals and aspirations that I’m following, I love my job. The only thing missing here is you.
I’m sorry, I fucked things up. I truly am. You have no idea how sorry I am knowing that if I wasn’t so stupid I could still be with you. I am embracing things, letting go of others. I’m being kind to people and staying positive. I’m the total package now. And you’re fucking missing out.
Your songs are coming along. Getting better and better.
One day you’re gonna realize that you want my love again.
God damn. I miss you perpetually. I can’t imagine things between us being any other way than how they were. I am still unable to come to terms with the fact that you left me. That its over. I can still feel the way your shape fits in mine when the truth is the other side of my bed stretches for miles and miles. I can still smell your scent and recall your smirk. I can feel your lips though I’ll not know them again. I can hear your voice and your laughter, your stomach growling. So many things I recall make me miss you everyday. I can imagine your acne scars and the divot in your thigh, the freckels on your arms. You broke my heart, baby.
I wish I could do what you need. I want you back in my life.
Blah, blah, more later.
